


The Leg Bone Connects to the Thigh Bone, But Not Like That!

by thegreatersea



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Biology, Gen, Humor, Shaper is very tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23947006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatersea/pseuds/thegreatersea
Summary: Shaper granted their host, designated "Amy," powerful biokinetic abilities. So why does she keep making these odd mistakes? A selection of reports made to the network administrator.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	The Leg Bone Connects to the Thigh Bone, But Not Like That!

**Author's Note:**

> My April Fools' gift for Joesalot from the Cauldron Server!   
> (Prompt: Amy knows nothing about human biology.

Incident Report, 20091113.1 Local Time  
Sender: Designation Shaper  
Recipient: Hub Network Archives

This one assisted Host, hereafter designated “Amy,” with repairs to the subject. The subject had numerous bruises and abrasions, as well as a deficit of left kneecap. Amy managed the former with no issues, but ran into unconscious bias when she turned her attention to the kneecap. She initially started forming it backwards, and this one had to intervene to prevent the subject from experiencing further injury. Amy seemed to expect that a normal kneecap was formed according to her initial thoughts, despite clear evidence to the contrary in the form of the existing right kneecap. However, with this one’s assistance the left kneecap formed without further issue. This one will attempt to subtly direct Amy’s attention towards researching proper anatomy. This one will also file Amy’s attempted design for potential use in future Cycles with relevant host species.

Incident Report, 20091115.6 Local Time  
Sender: Designation Shaper  
Recipient: Hub Network Archives, Copy submitted to Local Ad-Hoc Network

This one assisted Amy with repairs to the subject. The subject suffered from repeated blunt impact trauma to the left side of their head. The concussion was repaired by nearby specialists despite Amy having much more powerful techniques. Amy continues to operate under a personal rule forbidding her from altering neural tissue. This one will continue their attempts to remove this distinction. When Amy was brought in to finish the repair process, she performed to standard when dealing with the muscle tissue deeper beneath the surface. However, once she reached the area surrounding the subject’s ear she again deviated from the expected design. In direct contradiction to the example provided by the healthy ear on the right side, she attempted to add additional ranges of motion. This design, while potentially useful for future creations, was neither an expected nor requested change and needed to be adjusted. This one will again attempt to maneuver Amy towards appropriate sources of anatomical accuracy. This one also requests the assistance of Designations Spectrum Armory, Spectrum Artillery, and Amplify in this attempt. Perhaps additional pressure from active Hosts in close proximity will work where individual effort did not.

Incident Report, 20100315.4 Local Time  
Sender: Designation Shaper  
Recipient: Hub Network Archives

This one assisted Amy with repairs to the subject. The subject suffered from traumatic injury to their right eye and minor astigmatism. Amy managed to correct these injuries with minimal issue. Her initial attempts did attempt to institute a flatter eye structure and dichromatic vision, but these impulses were swiftly corrected by Amy without any need for this one’s efforts. With the subject’s permission, Amy also altered the curvature of both eyes to remove the astigmatism. This one is pleased to report that Amy has resolved her issues with processing and replicating host species anatomy. Her alternate eye designs have been stored for later use, as with all previous entries. Addendum: Reminder for this one to send on thanks to Designations Spectrum Armory, Spectrum Artillery, and Amplify for their efforts in resolving this matter. This one offers their services in repairing Designation Concussion’s host, should the request be made.

Incident Report, 20100629.5 Local Time  
Sender: Designation Shaper  
Recipient: Hub Network Archives

This one assisted Amy with repairs to the subject. The subject suffered from blunt impact trauma to the front portion of the right foot, necessitating a full reconstruction. With one exception, Amy managed this reconstruction without incident. Amy’s initial attempt at reconstructing the keratin layers on the final extremities suggested a design involving a marked increase in capillaries inside a thicker grooved shell. This one substituted the necessary design, and the repair finished appropriately soon after. This one is confused regarding Amy’s original design. The thick keratin shell suggests an improvement of stability and weight distribution, but the capillaries render the overall structure an inefficient design. This one will file the design for submission, but must also note the associated doubts regarding utility.

Incident Report, 20100705.14 Local Time  
Sender: Designation Shaper  
Recipient: Hub Network Archives

This one assisted Amy with repairing the subject. The subject suffered from acute abdominal distress. The pain was initially localized near the center of the abdomen, but moved to the subject’s right during the examination, leading to a diagnosis of “Appendicitis.” Amy was able to clear the condition by cannibalizing an inflamed but apparently non-functional organ to repair minor damage to the others. This one was then forced to intercept Amy’s initial impulse to cannibalize a second organ, identified as the “Gallbladder.” While this one is thankful Amy seems to be more willing to make major modifications, this particular instance would have come at the cost of a subject’s full function. This one hopes Amy will continue this willingness to experiment, but with more of a focus on functionality.

Incident Report, 20100920.2 Local Time  
Sender: Designation Shaper  
Recipient: Hub Network Archives

This one assisted Amy with functional modifications to the subject. The subject reported chronic shortness of breath. When questioned further, the subject revealed their desire for either larger or more efficient lungs. How these requests related to their profession, this one is unsure, but Amy seemed to understand. After some internal deliberation, Amy agreed to the proposed modifications, and the procedure took little time or intervention. Amy then proceeded to alter various muscles along the subjects jaw and face, most relating to lip flexibility and range of motion. This design, while intriguing, was abandoned, and replaced with one relating more to increased control over the jaw and vocal chords.

Incident Report, 20101026.1 Local Time  
Sender: Designation Shaper  
Recipient: Hub Network Archives

This one assisted Amy with preparations for a local celebratory gathering. Following positive experiences with modifying existing beings, Amy saw fit on this occasion to create a non-sapient organism from existing biomass. This one completed the necessary detail-oriented tasks as Amy focused on generating both the overall design and needed subsystems. Amy sourced the required biomass from a group of structures previously labelled “Trees.” To this one’s surprise, Amy pulled designs from all of those filed in prior incident reports. Indeed, these various designs seemed to slot together exceptionally well under Amy’s guidance. This one engaged with Amy’s senses as the organism neared completion to hear what it would be named.

The name, however, came from the various host species members in the immediate vicinity, as each one referred to the resulting creation with the designation “Horse.” This designation matches references to a livestock species used by the current host species. Cross-referencing prior incident reports indicates to this one that the bulk of Amy’s knowledge of anatomy came from this livestock species, and all of her initial changes to host species anatomy were intended to mimic these “Horses.”

Upon completion of the current Cycle, this one would appreciate a container of flavored ethanol.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, Amy is that Weird Horse Girl we all knew in middle school. Except because it's Amy, it gets taken up to 11. I had some trouble with this at first, until I took that "human" qualifier on biology and ran with it.


End file.
